Happy Hookerween

It's that time of year again... the time when all fashion rules go out the window in favor of wearing as little cheap fabric as possible and freezing your rear off.  What do I mean?  Here, let Lindsay Lohan explain:



(Good lord she looked fantastic when this movie came out.  But I digress.)

That's right ladies, it's time again to ask yourself why children and grown men get a selection of actual Halloween costumes while we get about 90% stripper-wear and 10% "cow suit with squirting udders."  Can someone please explain this to me?  When did Halloween become the day when women are all expected to freeze our extremities off because we're wearing some cheap, shiny, probably unflattering costume bastardization of a beloved character or archetype?  You can't be an angel, you have to be a sexy angel.  Sexy fireman!  Sexy nurse!  Sexy gangster!  You can't even be an athlete – you have to be a sexy athlete.

And it just gets dumber every year.  This year I feel like the costume companies have really gone above and beyond to provide truly surreal examples of "sexy" costuming.  Here are a few of the most disturbing and confusing:

Sexy Sesame Street:  Big Bird, Cookie Monster, and Elmo. 
Whoever decided Elmo should be sexy should seek therapy.

Remember Freddy Kruger? Disfigured undead child molester Freddy Kruger?
He's a sexy she now.

Sexy Optimus Prime and Bumblebee of the Transformers.
Because nothing says cheesecake like robots that turn into cars.

Sexy Brian from Family Guy.
Yes, this is a sexed-up costume of a male cartoon dog. No, I can't explain it...

 

...but it doesn't even hold a candle to Sexy Chewbacca.

I just don't even get it anymore, people.  It's almost like the costume companies are competing against one another to find the most unsexy things possible to convert into skimpy, ridiculous costumes and then sit back in giddy anticipation to see how many women are actually willing to walk around wearing the insane getups they've made.  A massive conspiratorial practical joke is really the only explanation that makes sense to me.  It's all just gotten too weird. 

So what's a girl to do?  Well, Ricky's NYC, the city-based beauty retailer, has a pretty extensive  Halloween Shop that includes a terrifyingly expansive selection of "sexy" costumes (everything I've shown here except Chewbacca comes from there – Sexy Chewbacca will run you $200+ here) but also has plenty of other costumes as well as a wide assortment of wigs, makeup, and accessories. 

If your taste tends toward the surreal but away from the revealing, check out the collection of costumes Simon Doonan (Creative Director for Barney's NY) designed for Target.  It includes something called a "Glamour Ghost" (a white robe emblazoned with the phrase Chic or Treat) and a Vegas-style Elvis vampire.  Target also has a large stock of less campy costume options. 

If you're crafty, of course, you can always make your own costume.  I'm not all that crafty but over the years I've amassed a lot of random accessories (cat ears, horns purchased at the renaissance faire, sparkly wings and a tunic from the year I was Tinkerbell, etc.) to be able to MacGuyver something together at the last minute – because I always wind up waiting until the last minute and then there's nothing left at the stores but that stupid squirting cow suit. 

But whatever you do or wear this Halloween, I implore you: don't fall victim to the Hookerween Conspiracy.  You'll only wind up freezing and possibly turning someone's warm childhood memory into a weirdly kinky trauma. 

Back from the Abyss

Afternoon, readers.  Have you forgotten me? 

I've been away for about a month now.  This is for a few reasons I thought I'd explain:

1) I started a new job in August.  I love this job and it's going great!  But I'm working a lot of hours and I work for a beauty retailer, so by the time I have a free moment I'm often unmotivated or tired of thinking about fabuolosity. 

2) I hit a bit of a writer's block wall.  This could be connected to the aforementioned lack of motivation; I'm not really sure.  But I've had a little trouble coming up with new ideas that everyone hasn't already read about 400 times. 

Right now I'm brainstorming some ideas for new posts and trying to crack the whip on myself to get back to writing.  My plan is to get back to updating at least twice a week with maybe a "quickie" post with some fun links once a week on top of it.  But I am sorry for the sudden prolonged absence and I hope to be back up and running consistently soon. 

In the meantime, please check out Scrangies's blog on Depression Awareness Month.  October gets a lot of attention for being Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but Depression also needs a lot of attention.  The chances are good that you or someone you know is affected by depression – and it might be the last person you'd expect.  A lot of stigma is still attached to mental illness, so talking about it is important. 

I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder about five years ago.  Right now I'm in the best shape I've been since then, but I'm still learning how to compensate and adjust for my ups and downs.  Sometimes that makes it really hard to motivate myself to write, which is part of the reason I started this blog in the first place: I wanted to give myself something I had to keep up with.  In fact part of the length of my absence is due to the fact that once I hit a pitfall, I can tend to get overwhelmed and let it snowball.  So once I hadn't updated for a week I wasn't sure how to fix it and then that week stretched out into two, then three... etc.  This blog is part of my self-rehab, so to speak.  I love to write, and I love fashion, so it made sense that I should start this project to keep myself working on something all the time.  But sometimes I'll hit a wall like I did this past month.  All I can ask is that you stick around while I work to keep myself consistent. 

Actually, I can ask one more thing:  read that blog entry.  If any of it sounds familiar, if any of the symptoms of depression hit home for you or someone you know, please don't ignore it.  It's better to ask and be told that you were worried about nothing than to let something like this tear you apart because you think you have to go it alone. 

It was bound to happen eventually... the 90s are back.

Fashion, they say, is cyclical.  Everyone has heard someone say (or has said themselves) that it's no use throwing away clothes because "everything comes back in style."  (Incidentally, this is terrible advice – by the time it comes back in style it probably won't fit you and/or you'll be embarrassed to ever have worn it.  When in doubt, throw it out!  Or better yet, donate it.)  In a world of seemingly finite ideas, fashion is bound to repeat itself.  And since we finally seem to be coming to the end of the dark days of 1980s retro it looks like the 1990s are on their way back.

Elaine Benes, retro style icon.

Remember when we were all wearing floral-print dresses with big clunky shoes?  Guess what?  It's a bona fide trend in New York.  They're calling it a resurgence of Elaine from Seinfeld, but I remember the shapeless floral sack spreading far beyond that show.  I even had a few myself.  And the socks with granny shoes is sort of a natural combination between this summer's awful socks with sandals trend and the less offensive menswear-inspired Oxford shoes that are all over the place.  Toss in a pair of leggings (and lord knows those don't seem to be going away) and you've got yourself a full-on retro chic ensemble.

Remember yesterday
when I said mixed prints
were a trend for fall?
I give you Angela Chase.

One fashion editor is calling this look "Upper West Side Grunge," which is sort of ironic since the original look was a natural offshoot of the original grunge trend.  So much of fashion in the 1990s was about meticulously putting together a look designed to send the message that you didn't care how you looked.  It was sort of an over-correction for the excess of the 1980s.  Everything was baggy and incongruous and mismatched – and if you were really devoted, wrinkled as well.  Oh, and by the way?  Grunge is coming back in it's way too.  Check out how much plaid Old Navy is showing this fall.  Big plaid shirt + distressed jeans or leggings + boots = grunge.  Only this time around it's a little more polished and less... well, grungey.  We don't so much mind people knowing that we care what we look like now. 

Thanks for bringing sexy back, Katie.

Lest you think it's just grunge making a comeback, the other end of the spectrum is seeing a resurgence as well.  1990s prep is back in a big way – let's go back to Old Navy and have a look at their "perfectly preppy" page, where argyle reigns supreme.  The September issue of Glamour even featured a "how-to" guide for accurately dressing the preppy part.  We can thank Katie Holmes for bringing pegged jeans back into style – she started doing it two years ago.  And let's not forget the oversized blazer, worn with everything from leggings to jeans to those shapeless dresses and everything in between. 

Even our retro is retro!  The whole Mad Men craze sweeping the nation?  The one that has women in full skirts and men in tailored suits?  It feels just a little like the 1990s swing revival, where women were wearing full skirts and hot red lips and men were wearing tailored zoot suits and slicked-up hair. 

There's a saying:  if you're old enough to remember the trend the first time, don't wear it the second time.  It's usually good advice since the things we wore at a younger age look inappropriate once we're older.  But in the case of 1990s wear I think it's safe to say I'll be avoiding some of these rerun trends because I'm still cringing at the pictures of myself wearing them the first time.  (If baby tees and baggy jeans come back in style, I don't even want to know about it.)  So no thanks on the pegged jeans and floral sacks – though I may pick up a plaid shirt or two.

Mostly I think we're safe as long as men don't start shaving stripes into their eyebrows again and as long as we women don't start walking around looking like this:

We call those "mom jeans" now. And let's not even discuss that ruffled blouse.

On Target: Tucker for Target images are online!

Dress $39.99
Reversible Vest $24.99
Camisole $22.99

Target's newest Go International collection is finally up for preview on the Target press website.  The blogs have been buzzing about this newest collaboration – with Tucker by Gaby Basora – for a few months now.  So how are the clothes?

Woven Tee $24.99
Shorts $34.99

So far, they look good.  The line is designed to favor layering which is perfect for transitioning from summer into fall.  There are a lot of dresses and skirts (in varying lengths – I love that everything isn't super short!), paired with layering pieces like vests and sweaters designed with a mind for mixing pattern and color.  Mixed prints is looking like a rising fall trend which makes this line very of-the-moment.  But since it's all separates, it's still accessible to those not so adventurous. 

Trench $59.99
Dress $39.99
Camisole Dress, $34.99

Most of the pieces look very wearable... although I don't know about those shorts.  (Baggy herringbone shorts?  Really?  Who's going to look good in those?  And why is the shorts and tights thing coming back anyway? But bad retro trends is another post for later this week...)  There's even a reasonably subdued jumpsuit if you're into that sort of thing.  I love love love the vibrant colors and prints.  So much of fall fashion gets bogged down in dark and dreary that it's refreshing to see some hot pink and purple mixed in with the more traditional hues. 

Dress $39.99

The line becomes available in select stores and on Target.com on September 12 and most pieces seem to hover below the $50 mark (though there is a $79.99 bomber jacket).  But I wouldn't advise buying online if you can find these items in a brick-and-mortar store.  The Go International line is junior-sized, which means trying on is a must unless you're used to shopping the junior racks.  Also, it must be said: the fabric quality can be dodgy.  What looks great in pictures can sometimes look flimsy and cheap in person and Target often keeps these lines affordable by skimping on the fabric.  (The Jean-Paul Gaultier line was really bad.) 

I'll definitely be hitting my local Target to check out the Tucker line next week!  If I find any gems I'll post an update – and if any readers check it out, let me know!

A Potpourri of Quickies

Every now and then I look through my collection of bookmarked links and realize that I have plenty of things I want to share with no connecting thread to tie them together.  Today is one of those days.  So instead of sitting on them any longer, here's a round-up of some great style-related links for you:

• More on color trends for fall at Refinery 29.

• The Budget Fashionista recommends seven fall items you can buy right now.

• StyleList has some tips on transitioning your wardrobe from summer to early fall.

• Levi's has released a new denim line called Curve ID, designed to better fit women's bodies.  But there's some controversy concerning the line's sizing and promotion.

• Today was 9/02/10!  Celebrate 90210 Day with the original West Beverly High class and Go Fug Yourself.

• Yahoo's style page has some cute fall coats – all under $100!

 Have a great weekend, everyone!  I'll be back in full swing next week, so watch this space!

Fall Color Trends from Pantone

What colors will you be wearing this fall?  According to the Pantone Fashion Color Report for fall 2010 (you can download a free PDF at the bottom of the linked page), the on-trend fashionista's palette will be made up of vivid brights anchored with neutrals like khaki and chocolate:

"Mindful of consumers' need for practicality, plus their desire for newness, designers offer many options for women to extend and embellish their wardrobes this fall," said Leatrice Eiseman, executive director of the Pantone Color Institute®. "Building on the color palette from spring, this season's offerings include innovative takes on fundamental basics, as well as transporting, lively colors that conjure images of travel and adventure, whether real or aspirational."

Sephora Collection Colorful Palettte
in Eternally Purple, $24 at Sephora.com

The concept of carrying color over from the last season for economic reasons is echoed from the Spring 2010 report, which focused on neutrals mixed with primary brights already in most closets.  Shades od coral, red, khaki and green have carried over from the spring and are warmed up with chocolately plum, warm yellow, and fall's hottest shade – purple.

Purple is where's it's at this year!  Makeup and nail polish are hot in every shade from plum to lavender, and purple hues were all over the fall runways.  What's great about this shade is that it's almost universally flattering.  There's a shade of purple for everyone, and it's a rich, saturated color that feels simultaneously warm and vibrant. 

Mossimo sweater, $17.99 at Target.com

The warm gold on Pantone's list isn't as easy to pull off.  If you're pale (like me) or have a cool-toned complexion, yellow can easily wash you out and leave you looking sickly and tired.  If you're feeling daring you can punch up a neutral outfit or black dress with a pair of brightly-colored tights, which will both keep your legs warm in the autumn chill and allow you to wear colors you normally couldn't since the color isn't right next to your face.  Or you can layer a lightweight sweater like this one from Target under a blazer (boyfriend blazers are still big!) or break up the color by adding a scarf at the neck.  That way you get a pop of the yellow without it overwhelming you.   (I think this sweater would look great with some zebra print accessories if you want to combine trends!)

With springy colors like coral and turquoise, it can be tough to know how to transition them into a fall look.  The trick is pairing them with richer shades:  instead of khaki, try wearing your coral pieces with gray, green, or chocolate brown.  Carry turquoise into fall by mixing it with gold.  You can shake up your neutrals, too.  Try gray shoes where you might have worn black for an updated look. 

And as always, an easy way to try out a new color is with accessories.  Add a bold scarf to a neutral outfit, or look into a bright pair of pumps or a bright purse.  That's also a simple way to update your look without spending lots of cash.

For some more ideas on fall's hot colors, check out this article at CollegeFashion.net 

Argan Oil: Beauty Miracle or Goat Poop?

There's always some new thing that's guaranteed to make you beautiful.  Last year it was mineral makeup, before that it was vitamin c, and on and on.  The new kid on the block is argan oil.  From The Beauty Brains:

The fruit of an argan tree:  image courtesy of sptimes.com

Argan oil is produced from the kernels of argan tree fruit. These trees only grow in a few regions, like Morocco, so this oil is one of the rarest in the world due the small supply and the limited growing area – hence the high price and the hype.

Traditionally the oil is produced by hand. First the soft pulp is stripped from the nuts which are then laid out in the sun to dry. Stones are used to crack open the dried nuts so the seeds can be removed. Next, they’re gently roasted to give the oil a rich, nutty flavor. A little water is added to the roasted seeds and they are ground into a thick paste which is squeezed by hand to extract the oil.

Legend has it that there’s another way to produce this precious oil: Breaking open the nut shells is really hard work and the Moroccans have found that it’s easier wait for their goats to eat the fruit (yes, goats are big fans of argan fruit. They’ll even try to climb trees in search of this succulent treat!) The seeds pass through the goat’s digestive track and emerge on the other end a bit softer since they’re partially digested. So, all the Moroccans have to do is follow the goats around and wait for the seeds to… uh, reappear.

(Apparently that part about the goat poop is just a legend.)

The Brains say that argan oil has properties that could help skin (as an effective treatment for oily skin or psoriasis but with the possible side effect of clogging pores), but they weren't able to find any proof that it will do much for your hair. But the Argan Oil Society website says that it has several benefits for hair, including:

• Argan oil hydrates the hair in a natural way. It stops the curliness and roughness of hair in an efficient way.
  
• Argan oil penetrates into the hair pores or shafts and enhances the elasticity of hair. It also proves to be very nourishing for the growth of hair.
  
• Argan oil is very good for uncontrollable and unmanageable hair. It restores the smoothness of hair and makes them manageable again.
  
• Natural antioxidants present in Argan oil strengthen the hair by repairing the damaged cellular membrane of hair.
  
• Presence of Vitamin E in Argan oil makes it a tremendous agent for hair treatment. Many external and internal agents like heat, over styling and oxidization damage the hair. Vitamin E present in Argan oil is very useful in restoring the natural hair and renewing and repairing the damage caused by destructive agents.
  

Argan nuts being pressed into oil:  image courtesy of care2.com

Suddenly the market is flooded with hair and skin products containing argan oil, the most popular probably being Moroccan Oil.  But at $37, it's worth having a look at the ingredients.  Moroccan Oil is mostly silicones – argan oil is the sixth ingredient on the list!  And while silicones are effective for fighting frizz and smoothing hair, you can pay a lot less money to coat your hair with silicone by buying a bottle of Frizz-Ease.  And if you use a sulfate-free shampoo (like I do), you'll need to avoid silicones because non-sulfate detergents aren't strong enough to break them down, which will leave you with build-up.  So a product like Moroccan Oil won't work with that type of routine.  Similar products (like Marrakesh Oil) are also available, but they have a similar ingredient list and carry a similarly high price tag. 

Nothing is wrong with these products, of course, as long as you know what you're buying and aren't following a silicone-free routine.  But you're paying a lot of money and not getting as much of the advertised pivotal ingredient as you might think. 

If you want to find pure argan oil, which you can use on your skin or hair, model Josie Maran features it in her cosmetic line available at Sephora.  Or you can check out alternative retailers like The Posh Peddler. 

Since argan oil is expensive you may also want to consider alternatives:  coconut oil is similar enough to hair's natural oils to penetrate the hair shaft better than most oils and is available at health food or organic food stores.  And jojoba oil closely mimics the oils in your skin, so you can use that as a light moisturizer or skin oil.  Jojoba oil is also available at health food stores, beauty supply stores, or your local Trader Joe's.  Both are less expensive than argan oil. 

Like most beauty trends, it's important to read ingredients and know what you're buying before you part with your cash.  A little knowledge goes a long way to saving you money!